Journals are a great way to keep track of changes in self. Growth tracked in words. I have noticed that I sometimes lose touch with my own journals. The self that existed in those words ends up so different then the existent self that I don't associate with it. With a normal paper journal the solution is simple: get a new journal. Generally the journal has been filled with pictures, writings and quotes, so it is time to get a new one anyways.
Blogs are a little different. I started Strangers Talking as a way to express myself. I needed to discuss important issues within myself (through verse) in a place that I could always access. I needed to sweat the small stuff. To express a backlog of frustration, sadness, anger, etc and revisit it so that I could understand it.
Then something silly happened. People started reading it. I had always wanted my friends to read my blog, but not because I think I am a good writer (which I obviously am not), but because I wanted to give them insight into the conflict that is Pedram - the person that empathizes with too much and is constantly changing. I wanted it to lead to conversation in reality about who we are as people because, honestly, that discussion was the crux of my existence at the moment.
The need to understand my inner conflict was embodied in my need to have deep intellectual and emotional discourse. I was still so green at spirituality and religion I was not yet ready to examine it on any real level, so I turned to all I knew - passion.
Time passed. I grew. I grew. I wrote in my more and more and published what I wrote less and less. The blog took on a life of its own - fueled by hundreds of entries that were very heavily soaked in emotion.
It was too much. I am no longer that person that started that blog. The self-righteousness that is associated with so many of its words irks me. The heavy cloud of emotion weighs my soul. Hence this new creation.
A new emotional start.
The old one is still out there (under a new URL). If you want access to it, feel free to ask.
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